Hello Beautiful

That was the greeting given to me by a guy today. My friends say that all the time, along with "Hello sunshine," "Hey darlin'," and "Howdy, cutie." But there's something much more fulfilling and ego-boosting about a guy sitting down next to you and saying, "Hello, Beautiful."

I'll bet you're a lot like me in that you absolutely love to be called beautiful. Especially by someone you don't know very well, strange as that may seem. Because if somebody knows you well, and they call you "beautiful," they're much more likely to be basing that off your inner beauty, which, of course, is the best kind. But every once in a while, it's nice to hear that somebody thinks you're a beautiful creation of God -- outside.

So hello, Beautiful. I don't know you. I don't know if your forehead is small or large. I don't know what color your eyes are. But I do know that God created you in His image. I do know that He looked at His creations and said they were good, and He cannot lie, or make a mistake. I know He didn't make a mistake in creating your nose the size that it is. I know He won't think you're prettier if you lose ten pounds. I know that someday, if it's in God's plan, you will find a guy who thinks you're the most gorgeous person in the entire world -- inside and out. He will love you even after you have a baby and have lost your girlish figure. He will love you when your hair turns gray. He will love you when you start to grow a mustache (you better believe it). And he'll always call you beautiful. Because guess what -- you are.

A Waltz with Jesus

One of my very good friends was recently dumped by her boyfriend. She was devastated. In the midst of one her e-mails to me, she wrote that she and her boyfriend danced all the time, and she loved it.

I told her Jesus would be more than happy to dance with her.

If you're a girl...
Imagine yourself at a beautiful ball. You have on the most amazing dress you've ever seen, and you're asked to dance -- by Jesus.

You accept, of course. After all, He's a wonderful lead. You take His hand, and He leads you onto the dance floor.

At first, you mess up. You don't know the dance, and though you know Jesus should be trusted, you want to try this on your own first. Your dancing is out of sync, and a few people cast amused glances in your direction. Jesus leans forward and whispers in you ear, "Trust Me, Beloved." You resist for a while longer. But eventually, you run out of excuses and let Him take over. When you step in the wrong place, He seamlessly covers your mistake. When you look around the room, making the dance look awkward, He draws your eyes back to His.

You don't see it at first, but as you dance, you're becoming more and more beautiful. Your face takes on a rosy, happy glow. As you become more familiar with the steps Jesus is leading you in, you become more confident. You place your feet exactly where they need to go.

Eventually, a man notices what a beautiful dancer you are. He approaches you and taps you on the shoulder, asking if he can cut in. You're so taken in by his dashing appearance and flawless manners that you leave with him without even looking to Jesus for approval. This new partner takes your arm and begins to dance. Certain that you know the steps, you join in wholeheartedly with the steps you learned from Jesus. But that's not the dance your new partner is doing. You step on each other's toes. Trusting him, you lean back -- and he drops you.

He helps you up and apologizes, and feeling that it was your own fault for not following him, you graciously forgive him. You continue to dance, but soon his eyes begin to wander. He sees another woman, one he deems more beautiful than you. And without so much as a "Goodbye", he walks away.

Heartbroken, you find a seat in the corner. Your dress has been dirtied by your fall, and you're certain no one will want you now.

But Jesus approaches you yet again. He offers His hand. Feeling unworthy, you humbly accept it. He brushes off your dress and begins to dance with you again. You have to relearn the steps, but He is a patient teacher.

Another man approaches you, asking for the next dance. Wary, you look to Jesus. He shakes His head and gently tells you, "Not this one, Beloved."

It's repeated a few more times. But finally, the time comes when He smiles, nods, and says, "This one." And He joins your hands together.

Dance with Jesus. He will lead you over every pitfall. He will erase and forgive your mistakes. And He will give your hand away at the right time.

Me and WHO???

About a week ago, a friend approached me with a question: "Do you have a crush on ______?"

I'm sure my shriek of "What?? I don't even know him!" was very ladylike. I demanded to know where on earth she had gotten that idea! Goodness gracious me, I've never said or done anything to suggest that I like this guy. I'm sure he's very nice, but no, I don't have a crush on him. Like I said, I barely even know him.

But that got me to thinking: What if God told me who my husband was, and my reaction was, "Me and who??? He's awful!" What if that happened? Could I trust God? Would I obey, or would I go my own way and end up in misery and sadness?

God has a plan for us. But we have to follow it if we're going to acheive our happy endng. Because guess what -- Satan has a plan for us, too. And he'd be as pleased as punch if we'd go his way.

I don't want to do that. I want to be able to trust God with everything, even if I can't see the reasons at the time. Solomon tells us to "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." And that includes marriage.

Do you trust God? Enough to give Him your life, your future husband or wife? Do you trust Him enough to say, "I know Your plan is better. I'll marry the one You choose, not the one I want to choose"?

If you do, I promise you'll have a beautiful ending. And one day, you won't be able to picture yourself with anyone else except God and the one He chose for you.

Beauty and the Beast

Tale as old as time...

Everyone knows the story of the bookish town girl who lives with a hideous beast to save her father's life -- and ends up falling in love with the monster. Everyone understands the sweet simplicity of the story, and the charm in the idea that one person can change out of love for another.

But does that ever really happen?

I was told by a lady I respect greatly, in no uncertain terms, that it does not. She should know from experience -- she was married, and divorced, twice. She told me the pain and sadness that comes from believing you can redeem a mate, and failing. She knew firsthand the ability of people to play a role, and to play it convincingly, until the wedding. With no need to impress anymore, there are no more facades, no more games. Just heartbreak.

Every time Celine Dion's Beauty and the Beast came on, she would look at me, wave her finger, and say emphatically, "It does not happen!" She desperately wanted me to understand that a woman's love is not sufficient to change a man's life (or a man's love a woman's life). But when I watch movies like Beauty and the Beast, A Walk to Remember, or even some Jane Austen movies, I want to believe it can happen. I love Willoughby and Wickham. They're cute. They're courteous. They have potential.

But potential is not enough! You don't marry someone who has potential; you marry someone who has already reached it. Just as you don't marry a child, but wait until the person has matured, you cannot marry someone who has not yet grown up into the person they will be for the rest of their lives. And you cannot change who that person is.

God is the only One in the business of changing hearts and lives. He does it so much better than we ever could! I don't deny that He can use us in peoples' lives to change their minds and help them start on a new path, but marriage is for forever. It is not a decision that can be made flippantly, and it should not be made out of pity or a desire to redeem someone. You can do all the life-changing work you need to outside of the confines of marriage. If you can't change them as a friend, you certainly can't change them as a spouse. You're only hurting yourself.

I've had this on my heart for a very long time. I'm the sort of girl who's going to get to her Darcy eventually, but will fall for a dozen Wickhams along the way. I'm just praying that I don't make the mistake of giving my heart completely away so that I have nothing left to give when my prince finally comes. I pray that you will make wise decisions as you grow in God. Pray for your future husband (or wife). Pray that you'll know when they've arrived. Ask God's direction in every aspect of your life, and His guidance will lead you to the person you're supposed to marry. Don't rely on your own wisdom. Let God lead you. He's reaching out His hand. If you take it, He'll give it away at the right time.

Twisted and Tarnished

I subscribe to a newsletter that recommends Regency-era (early 1800's) romance books. I was given one of the books by a friend to read and absolutely loved it! No, it was not perfect -- it was maybe the first book I've read not written by a Christian or a dead person -- but the climactic moment found the young man giving his true love a public kiss and declaring that she now had to marry him, or what would happen to her reputation? And I was thinking, That's awesome! A kiss, and now they're worried about reputation! What if we did that these days?

My delight with this genre was not to last.

A few days ago, I received another issue of the newsletter and scrolled down to look at the suggested books. I was shocked and horrified as I skimmed. The titles were bad enough: Dangerous as Sin... Nothing But Scandal... Wed Him Before You Bed Him! Although I agree with the sentiment of that last title, do I really want to read a book that tells the story of a young woman who didn't follow that advice? The descriptions were worse: A woman who claims an amnesiac is her husband. A lady whose husband sells her to another man for a night. And the covers! I expect to see ball gowns -- lots and lots of fabric! -- on the covers of my Regency books. Instead, I got very, very little fabric at all! I felt dirty after skimming through these books that older ladies are suggesting to young girls.

First of all, I question the historical accuracy of many of these books. What sort of woman would take a lover, just to describe it better in her books, in the 1800's? And how many women were actually writers in the 1800's? Okay, that was the rant of a history addict. Sorry.

I've heard many people say they wish we could return to the innocence and chivalry of the 19th century. But at the same time, other people are twisting that innocence and chivalry to write a "hot" romance. We do this in so many other aspects of our lives, too. We take something that could be sweet and beautiful, and change it just to please the crowd or make ourselves look better. Even though the original was better all along.

Construe that as you will, however it relates to you. Perhaps you struggle with self-esteem and try to change the way you look. Maybe modesty is an issue for you. Whatever it is, I encourage you to surrender it to God and ask Him to help you start clean. To be untwisted. Because you're so beautiful, Princess, and I want you to stay that way!

P.S. I will be canceling my subscription to that newsletter!

To Know My Name

I am ninety-eight percent dateable. I am an excellent flirt, and I have perfected the art of the kiss and have nothing left to learn about it. My personality is such that I will go far in life and be loved by everyone. My boyfriend is Joe Jonas, and we're getting married July 25, 2010.

Jealous yet?

All of these things are true. According to Facebook.

I actually don't spend much time on Facebook, but when I do, I take the quizzes, and those things I mentioned are what the quizzes told me. (Oh, and my boyfriend is also Will Smith. I wonder which one I'm supposed to be marrying next year...?)

All of this bothers me. If we rely on Facebook to tell us what to look for, I'll be looking for someone who plays music and looks nice. We'll think we're perfect, and therefore have no need to improve ourselves. And we'd be getting married illegally!

There are some things I want my prince to know about me. Scratch that: I want my prince to know almost everything about me. Of course some things like "How many hairs are on my head" and "How many toothbrush heads I use in a month" are probably bonus facts. But he should know my faults, my loves, my hates, my passions. He should know how many hours I play piano in a week. He should know what mood I need to be in to write. He should know how often I read my Bible, and how much I love to pray.

Which are all things that Facebook quizzes don't know.

My prince should know my details, or why should he marry me? I could marry the next guy I meet if all we needed to know was general likes, dislikes, and hobbies. But it's the small things that I believe count. The things that make you laugh. The things that make you cry.

And of course, I want the details of my life to be overflowing with God. I want Him to be reflected in everything I love to do.

So the next time I'm inclined to find out which historical couple I belong to, or what sort of guy is my type, I'll be logging out of Facebook and opening the most important Book in the world to find my true identity.

The Wildest Dreams

I like to lie awake at night creating impossible scenarios. Sometimes it involves a cute guy offering to buy me ice cream while I'm out shopping, and then he'll help me pick out the most adorable prom dress ever (or at least sit there laughing when I put on a hideous dress -- he's got to have a sense of humor!) and then I'll give him my phone number, and around prom time I'll get a call from him, and you can imagine the rest. Sometimes I find a time warp in my dreams and travel back to the days of chivalry, where I find a handsome knight who fights duels at the slightest challenge to my honor. Sometimes I'm chatting with Elizabeth Bennet, and she introduces me to...Mr. Darcy's brother. Sometimes I'm the one to capture the heart of Mr. Wickham, and who cares that he's Mr. Wickham, he's cute, and I'll change him!

Yes, that is what I do when I can't sleep at night. Or maybe even when I can sleep, and don't want to lose my romantic daydreams to the holds of nonsensical dreams about flying and searching for my elusive pants...

Okay, I admit it. My daydreams are about as likely to happen as are the ones I have at night. But can't a girl dream?

No. My answer, right now, is no, not when dreams about finding your prince and riding off into the sunset (perhaps in a hot air balloon, or maybe on a boat...ack, tangent!) -- not when any dreams about anything physical and temporal and ephemeral occur more often and give you more pleasure than thinking about and talking to Christ.

I've been realizing lately what the promise of Jeremiah 29:13, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart," really means. We always focus on the finding God part; but I think that the definition of seeking is just as important. Take out "and find me" and you get, "You will seek me when you seek me with all your heart." If our entire being is not dedicated to pursuing God, then it's not really seeking.

Of course, this doesn't mean we have to completely abandon all the other things we do -- our hobbies, our families and friends, our dreams. But we can use them to glorify Him. After all, He is the one who gave us the desire to make envelopes or program computers. He's the one who gave us our family and brought our friends into our lives. He's the one who gave us the ability to dream.

And He will one day give us more than we can ever dream. We can dream all we like about what Heaven will be, but He will exceed our expectations beyond our wildest dreams.

That's one dream I won't ever give up dreaming.